Maneuvering the Unexpected

I have just celebrated another birthday, one for which I am super grateful. And woven within the threads of much to celebrate during the year, were also threads of the unexpected. You know, the “I didn’t see that coming” kind of thing! There were unexpected delays, unexpected family doctor reports, and unexpected life demands. But I was not the only one presented with unexpected challenges. We live in an imperfect world so everyone has the opportunity to get hit with the unexpected at some point in their lives.

In times of “the unexpected” we can feel like we’re backpedaling, taking one step forward and way too many backward. Sometimes, the unexpected can deliver such a powerful blow to the mind, the heart, and the body, that it’s hard to keep going. In this post, I share some journal reflections that continue to help me move forward when experiencing the unexpected. Now, I am not a therapist! So, this post is not a sharing of therapy advice. I am not a pastor, so this post is not pastoral advice. This post is simply my conversation with you, my much-appreciated readers.

Baptista Ime James - Unsplash

My Approach to Maneuvering the Unexpected

Words Matter - The first thing that helps me regain my footing when hit with the unexpected is to remember that although I didn’t see it coming, Abba was not caught off guard. He is not in heaven wringing his hands, sweating,

and pacing the streets of gold. So, my first reaction is to do my best to make sure that the words that come out of my mouth are the ones I want to say. I believe they set the course for my mind, will, and emotions going forth. I have found it hard to backpedal negative words spoken in the heat of the moment. So, I have adopted the response, “Abba, I’m glad you knew about this, and because you knew you have a plan for the best outcome. I consent to trust your process. Now, tell me what to do next.”

What’s Up? - After getting over the initial jolt of the unexpected, I proceed in moving forward, making the necessary steps no matter how small they may seem to be. Of course, I anticipate things getting better but instead, they sometimes become worse! That’s when the mind chatter starts to stir. I have found that mind chatter’s lure has often been to provoke me to question God’s love and concern for me and the situation. But I don’t fall for that. Not because I am super spiritual or super mature or anything like that. I have simply settled that matter for myself. God loves me, period. The situation I am facing does not reflect a lack of his love.

Instead, of questioning Him, I question my trust in his love. So, in my journal conversations, I explore, “Why is this ________ provoking me to question Abba’s love? What am I afraid of? What role is control playing?

Drop it- I must make a continual practice of harnessing my thoughts. Now, that’s not an easy one for me! My mind is on go all the time! So, realizing this is true for me, I do practice certain mental strategies daily. I know that rumination and mind chatter tend to be two of my biggest challenges. Therefore, I practice immediately flipping the script and giving my mind something beneficial to think about. (Philippians 4:8) I weigh the cost of the thought and if it’s costing me too much, I have to drop it! If it’s costing me sleep or good health, it’s costing me too much, I can’t afford it and I have to let it go. I remember hearing a minister say, “You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from making a nest in your hair.” I believe that it is important for me to use my power to harness my focus for I have learned that what consumes my mind controls me.

It also helps me to spend time each day in silence. I carve out time to just be present with God. I don’t ask for anything or tell him about anything, I am just there in stillness. That is one of the ways I interpret Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” When my mind needs to be redirected during the day, I’ll take breaks and sit outside, go for walks, and focus on gratitude which helps me to keep things in perspective. I have a gratitude box where I note at least one expression of thanks before bed.

Embrace my Crew- I love Star Trek! Although Captain Kirk ran the entire crew of the Enterprise, when he had to go out to explore the unknown, take on anything remotely dangerous, or take care of business with other life forms, he usually only took Spock, Scotty, and McCoy. And, Jesus chose twelve but most of us consider Peter, James, and John as his crew. Well, I too am blessed with a crew. Confidants who honor my uniqueness, love me genuinely, and seem to be able to see more potential in me than I can sometimes see myself. Let me introduce them.

Guide –Guide helps to steer me toward enlightenment regarding the issue I’m facing. Sometimes, “one cannot see the forest for the trees.” Guide’s ability to maintain objectivity, often presents me with a perspective I may not have considered. Guide is always my best advocate but is certainly not a “yes person.”

Iron Sharpener – I am known for saying, "You can't sharpen a machete with a butter knife." Iron Sharpener is my strong encourager who asks hard questions, expects me to set a course of action, and has sanction to hold me accountable. The rule with Iron Sharpener is, “No friend, you can’t camp out here.”

Cheerleader – Cheerleader is my spirit lifter who helps me to laugh, have fun, and not to take myself too seriously. With Cheerleader, there’s always something to celebrate.

Anam Cara – I call Anam Cara my spirit twin who knows my heart and welcomes me with the freedom to share my innermost self, guaranteed to always be loved.

“No one is so brave that he is not disturbed by something unexpected.” Julius Caesar

We all know that this thing called life is unpredictable. It will continually offer me practice in overcoming adversity. And the practices are also reminders of my resilience! I know that I will always regain my footing with confidence in God’s love and ability, relational support, and healthy strategies.

I don’t typically do this in my posts, but this time, I’d like to leave you with a journaling call to action.

• Identify your crew and the value they bring to your relationships.

• Think about how you handle unexpected challenges and identify the strategies/tools you use or the ones you’d like to develop.

• I invite you to share this blog and do leave a comment if you’d like to.

Always encouraging reflection,

WandaP