Consider the Process of Forgiving

As I re-read and gave deeper thought to scripture during Lenten season; the season to commemorate the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ, a couple of themes, resonated for me but the one which I want to write about today is forgiveness.

Fernando Brasil - Unsplash

This time, I made intentional emotional notes of the various situations and encounters of mistreatment or offense that Christ experienced and took some time to think about what my natural responses would have most likely been. Yikes! I dare not share that part of my journaling with you.

Here’s a bit of my list….

Even though he performed unheard-of miracles, someone always had something negative about Jesus; he healed on the wrong day, his disciples did not fast like John the Baptist and his disciples, nor did he and his disciples follow hand-washing rituals.

Some people admired him for his ministry while others called him Satan, the family called him embarrassing and crazy, and those who knew him from the community could not receive from him because he was just Jesus from the neighborhood and they knew his dad and mom.

People were always setting traps for him, running him out of town, and religious leaders were continually plotting to kill him.

When an appreciative woman expressed her gratitude and worship by anointing him with a very expensive bottle of her perfume, some of his disciples called it "a waste." Imagine that, telling Jesus, what he was not worth.

His disciples slept while he was experiencing the darkest time of his life and needed their prayers the most. Not only that, but they deserted and disowned him and one double-crossed him for money.

People lied to get him convicted, mocked him, insulted him, and chose to free a condemned criminal but crucify him, an innocent man. Then at the end of his life, he asks the Father to forgive these folk because they did not know what they were doing. Wow! I sat with this forgiveness prayer for all of Lent. How could Christ forgive like this? I have never experienced anything as he did and yet have found it so difficult at times to forgive, especially when the pain is so very deep.

"Forgiving other people does not in any way benefit or let them off the hook. It allows us to cancel the debt they owe us, which in all probability they can never pay anyway. We are the ones who are freed from the expectation of restitution for the wrongs done to us." - David Stoop

On Easter Monday, after my morning quiet time, I reflected on a Vegas trip where I had tried on a gorgeous dress in the Prada store. The store attendant sized me up perfectly but I noticed that the dress did not have a size label in it. I had never felt fabric that soft and of such high quality in all my shopping life! That dress embraced my body as if it had my name written all over it! I remember saying, gosh this dress is so very beautiful and so very unaffordable. I heard myself say, “Yes, and unforgiveness is a luxury you cannot afford.” You see, my default nature was to hold you hostage and forgive you only if I felt you really earned it. But, after that a-ha moment, I became serious about becoming a more forgiving person.

"Our taking time to forgive, and our grieving over our loss through anger and sadness, helps us understand how serious the offense was. We don't want to take it lightly. In fact, forgiveness offered too quickly is not really forgiveness-it's excusing. And when we excuse hurtful behavior, we invite it to continue in our lives." - David Stoop

My journal entry for that morning was, “Forgiveness is not instantaneous but if it is the outcome you want, you will get there. Allow the Holy Spirit and your support system to help you work through the emotional, mental, and physical stuff. Stay faithful to prayer, stay honest with God and yourself, stay humble, and be open to God’s perspective. Sooner or later, you will awaken free.”

Always encouraging reflection,

WandaP